Speeches that look A.H. but actually aren’t.

Cook

Banned
I thought I’d post this, it is part of a speech by a rather famous politician, and is referring to another equally famous politician. I won’t say just yet who they both are because you’ll appreciate the irony more if you read it before you know who’s who. It isn’t one of his most famous speeches so I’ll be interested to see if anyone else has seen it before. It is, as said, extraordinarily ironic:


‘He is the most bloodthirsty or amateurish strategist in history… For over five years this man has been chasing around Europe like a madman in search of something that he could set on fire… As a soldier he is a bad politician and as a politician an equally bad soldier… The gift (he) possesses is the gift to lie with a pious expression on his face and to distort the truth until finally glorious victories are made of the most terrible defeats… one of the most hopeless dabblers in strategy, thus managed to lose two theatres of war at one single blow. In any other country he would be court-martialled. His abnormal state of mind can only be explained as symptomatic either of a paralytic disease or of a drunkard’s ravings…’


Does anyone have any equally real speeches or statements that now just look like complete fiction?
 
Ha! Oh my god that is classic. :D

I pegged who the subject of speech was pretty much straight away, had to look up who the speaker was though. As for other speeches that one is certainly going to take a hell of a lot to beat. :)
 
Here's a news article...
"He proposes an alliance, half slave and half free, with the British Empire representing slavery. He comes really as a supplicant, begging assistance for that old and evil empire* and frankly expecting to get it on his own terms."
The article spoke of "the enslavement and exploitation of millions of British subjects", and attempting "to maintain British tyranny throughout the world. We cannot become partners in slave holding."

Can anyone guess the source?

It's the Chicago Tribune, criticizing Churchill's famous speech at Fulton college.

* Yes, it predates Reagan.
 
Ha! Oh my god that is classic. :D

I pegged who the subject of speech was pretty much straight away, had to look up who the speaker was though. As for other speeches that one is certainly going to take a hell of a lot to beat. :)
For those of us who are more ignorant, mind enlightening us?
 
This is such an awesome speech....

Men, this stuff that some sources sling around about America wanting out of this war, not wanting to fight, is a crock of bullshit. Americans love to fight, traditionally. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. You are here today for three reasons. First, because you are here to defend your homes and your loved ones. Second, you are here for your own self respect, because you would not want to be anywhere else. Third, you are here because you are real men and all real men like to fight.

Americans love a winner. Americans will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards. Americans play to win all of the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to an American.
Every man is scared in his first battle. If he says he's not, he's a liar. Some men are cowards but they fight the same as the brave men or they get the hell slammed out of them watching men fight who are just as scared as they are. The real hero is the man who fights even though he is scared. Some men get over their fright in a minute under fire. For some, it takes an hour. For some, it takes days. But a real man will never let his fear of death overpower his honor, his sense of duty to his country, and his innate manhood. Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is best and it removes all that is base.

Remember that the enemy is just as frightened as you are, and probably more so. They are not supermen.

All through your Army careers, you men have bitched about what you call "chicken shit drilling". That, like everything else in this Army, has a definite purpose. That purpose is alertness. Alertness must be bred into every soldier. I don't give a fuck for a man who's not always on his toes. You men are veterans or you wouldn't be here. You are ready for what's to come.

There are four hundred neatly marked graves somewhere in Sicily. All because one man went to sleep on the job. But they are German graves, because we caught the bastard asleep before they did.

An Army is a team. It lives, sleeps, eats, and fights as a team. This individual heroic stuff is pure horse shit. The bilious bastards who write that kind of stuff for the Saturday Evening Post don't know any more about real fighting under fire than they know about fucking!

We have the finest food, the finest equipment, the best spirit, and the best men in the world. Why, by God, I actually pity those poor sons-of-bitches we're going up against. By God, I do.

My men don't surrender. I don't want to hear of any soldier under my command being captured unless he has been hit. Even if you are hit, you can still fight back.

All of the real heroes are not storybook combat fighters, either. Every single man in this Army plays a vital role. Don't ever let up. Don't ever think that your job is unimportant. Every man has a job to do and he must do it. Every man is a vital link in the great chain.

Each man must not think only of himself, but also of his buddy fighting beside him. We don't want yellow cowards in this Army. They should be killed off like rats. If not, they will go home after this war and breed more cowards. The brave men will breed more brave men. Kill off the Goddamned cowards and we will have a nation of brave men.

Don't forget, you men don't know that I'm here. No mention of that fact is to be made in any letters. The world is not supposed to know what the hell happened to me. I'm not supposed to be commanding this Army. I'm not even supposed to be here in England. Let the first bastards to find out be the Goddamned Germans. Some day I want to see them raise up on their piss-soaked hind legs and howl, "Jesus Christ, it's the Goddamned Third Army again and that son-of-a-fucking-bitch Patton".

Sure, we want to go home. We want this war over with. The quickest way to get it over with is to go get the bastards who started it. The quicker they are whipped, the quicker we can go home. The shortest way home is through Berlin and Tokyo. And when we get to Berlin, I am personally going to shoot that paper hanging son-of-a-bitch Hitler. Just like I'd shoot a snake!

When a man is lying in a shell hole, if he just stays there all day, a German will get to him eventually. The hell with that idea. The hell with taking it. My men don't dig foxholes. I don't want them to. Foxholes only slow up an offensive. Keep moving. And don't give the enemy time to dig one either. We'll win this war, but we'll win it only by fighting and by showing the Germans that we've got more guts than they have; or ever will have. We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living Goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Hun cocksuckers by the bushel-fucking-basket. War is a bloody, killing business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours. Rip them up the belly. Shoot them in the guts. When shells are hitting all around you and you wipe the dirt off your face and realize that instead of dirt it's the blood and guts of what once was your best friend beside you, you'll know what to do!

I don't want to get any messages saying, "I am holding my position." We are not holding a Goddamned thing. Let the Germans do that. We are advancing constantly and we are not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy's balls. We are going to twist his balls and kick the living shit out of him all of the time. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy. We are going to go through him like crap through a goose; like shit through a tin horn!

From time to time there will be some complaints that we are pushing our people too hard. I don't give a good Goddamn about such complaints. I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood. The harder we push, the more Germans we will kill. The more Germans we kill, the fewer of our men will be killed. Pushing means fewer casualties. I want you all to remember that.

There is one great thing that you men will all be able to say after this war is over and you are home once again. You may be thankful that twenty years from now when you are sitting by the fireplace with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what you did in the great World War II, you won't have to cough, shift him to the other knee and say, "Well, your Granddaddy shoveled shit in Louisiana." No, Sir, you can look him straight in the eye and say, "Son, your Granddaddy rode with the Great Third Army and a Son-of-a-Goddamned-Bitch named Georgie Patton!
 

Cook

Banned
Can anyone guess the source?
The target was obvious (in the AH.com way), and while I didn't get the source, I wasn't surprised by it either. What most surprised me was the year; it sounds more like something they'd have said earlier, say circa 1940-41. (again, in an AH.com way)
 

Cook

Banned
‘I do not consider Herr Hitler to be as bad as he is depicted… He is showing an ability that is amazing and he seems to be gaining his victories without much bloodshed. (Germans in future) will honour Herr Hitler as a genius, a brave man, matchless organiser and much more.’

- Gandhi, May 1940.
 
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“What a man! I have lost my heart! . . . Fascism has rendered a service to the entire world. . . . If I were Italian, I am sure I would have been with you entirely from the beginning of your victorious struggle against the bestial appetites and passion of Leninism.”
 
Not a speech as such but reports from German Generals on a particular Allied leader ... but can you guess who?

Major General Eberhard Rodt –

"The enemy very often conducted his movements systematically, and only attacked after a heavy artillery preparation when he believed he had broken our resistance. This kept him regularly from exploiting the weakness of our situation and gave me the opportunity to consolidate dangerous situations."

Lieutenant General Hermann Balck -

"I have never been in command of such irregularly assembled and ill-equipped troops. The fact that we have been able to straighten out the situation again … can only be attributed to the bad and hesitating command of the ?? and the ??, [and that our] troops…have fought beyond praise."

"Within my zone, the ?? never once exploited a success. Often [General Friedrich Wilhelm von] Mellenthin, my chief of staff, and I would stand in front of the map and say, '?? is helping us; he failed to exploit another success.'"
 
The obvious guess would be Montgomery, but, failing that, I dunno, the most ironic guess would be Patton, probably. I honestly don't know enough about their campaigns to say.
 
I can't remember where he wrote this, but I know it's H.L. Mencken, because I read it. Maybe in a private correspondence.

"I do not think there will be much heard from Soviet Russia after 1950 or so."

In fairness, I THINK Mencken was writing before WWII(he suffered a debilitating stroke in the late 40s), and so probably didn't foresee the Soviet's marching into Eastern Europe.
 
This quote from Chris Hedges's 2003 Rockford College Graduation speech.
We have forfeited the good will, the empathy the world felt for us after 9-11. We have folded in on ourselves, we have severely weakened the delicate international coalitions and alliances that are vital in maintaining and promoting peace and we are part now of a dubious troika in the war against terror with Vladimir Putin and Ariel Sharon, two leaders who do not shrink in Palestine or Chechnya from carrying out acts of gratuitous and senseless acts of violence. We have become the company we keep.
A joint US-Russia-Israel alliance?
And the first paragraph mentioning Iraq makes it even weirder.
 
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