I'm sure in England it's the hokey-cokey. This because there's an alternative version of the lyrics which goes "You get your razor out/You cut it fine/You roll yourself a tenner/And you snort yourself a line."
I don't know about the USA, could well be the hokey-pokey. I'm going there next week so will ask. And I'm just back from Spain and all this international travel is getting me down. What is it about airports?
You spend more time hanging about than you do on many flights, queueing for baggage check and customs and security and no less than 3 sets of people who each want to see your passport and boarding pass, god alone knows why they want to see them 3 times.
And that's before you fly. When you get there you have to work out how to get where you want to go and end up paying the national debt to some slimy, filthy, dishonest, cheating crook of a cabdriver.
Where was I, oh yes, the crusades. As I often say, you can't look at it from a contemporary viewpoint. You have to consider the mindset of the second and third wave of crusaders. A French knight, say, will have to make his way across France and Switzerland and probably a couple of Italian states to Venice, then to Cyprus or Constantinople or both.
And all the way he will have to keep taking off his shoes and emptying his pockets for security machines, get robbed blind by tradesmen and hoteliers, and every farting little state he goes through will want him to cough up airport taxes or whatever.
Then he has to puke his way through sea voyages and very slow ones at that. And he gets to the Holy Land and there he finds the original wave of crusaders, who are supposed to be resolutely guarding the Holy Places.
There they are, sprawled out on silk cushions, smoking hash, being attended to by a harem of young ladies. If they languidly say to the French knight, "Had a rough trip, then?" the Frenchman is likely to want to kill someone. Kill lots of someones. I know I do.
Its noteworthy that when the whole thing collapsed, western europeans gave up on this islamic idea of pilgrimage to Holy Places. They took up the idea of pilgrimaging/crusading to the South of France. Climate's good and you can get an express bus from Nice airport to anywhere you want in the area, for only 4 euros.